May 25, 2012

Nebraska Adventures Part 1: Mother's Day

We were able to be a part of many wonderful events in Nebraska - my twin cousins' graduation and both my brother's and my mother's birthdays.  But I didn't get any pictures of those.  Not a single one.  FAIL.  So I will attempt to chronicle the events I DID get pictures of...the first being Mother's Day.
Have I mentioned I'm not a fan?  I think it all started during the years of really wanting (and trying) to be a mother.  In fact, one year it was the Monday after Mother's Day that I was scheduled to do the blood test to find out if the latest IVF was successful.  I spent the whole day wondering, "Am I?" only to be very disappointed the next day.  Ultimately, it set me up for too many expectations of how wonderful Mother's Day would be.  My first Mother's Day the twins slept less, the night before, than they have any other night in their lives thus far...and then pooped on me.  My second Mother's Day they both got a stomach bug and I spent the entire day cleaning up vomit and doing laundry.  My third Mother's Day I cancelled.  Did I mention that, because Mother's Day is on a Sunday, it is never the day of pampering I was promised (even without sleep deprivation, poo, and vomit)?  See, Sunday for a Pastor's wife is the busiest day of the week.  He leaves earlier in the morning than any other day (no sleeping in or breakfast in bed), you are solely responsible for getting yourself and your children dressed and out the door for church (extra pressure on Mother's Day when you feel pressured to look the perfect Mother/children), keeping everyone quiet during the service (no nursery on Mother's Day because all the workers want to enjoy church with their mothers), and getting everyone back home for lunch and down for naps (after which, once the house is silent and calm once again, your husband comes home).  And when I realized that, even if the streak of extreme Mother's Days didn't continue, I would eventually feel bitter that I didn't get the pampering I was promised because of the church (something I certainly did NOT want to feel), I cancelled it.  I don't feel bitter on any other Sunday of the year, so I told Lucas that, as far as I was concerned, it wasn't Mother's Day.  We would take a family trip to the zoo later in the week (and we did, and it was wonderful!).  
My husband is amazing, and does things all the time to let me know how much he appreciates me.  Every day my children give me hugs and kisses and tokens of affection (flowers picked from outside for example) and tell me I'm the best mommy, and they love me, and I'm their best friend, and so on.  I enjoy those so much more than this one day every year set aside with so much pressure.
This year, though, I got to be with my mom.  Perfection.
My mom is amazing.  Outwardly she is short and silly and soft-hearted.  She loves chocolate and chick-flicks and more chocolate.  But she loves being a mom more than anything, and it shows.  I think she did an amazing job with my brothers and I.  Even though, when I was younger,  I said a million times that I would never parent my children the way she parented me (you know, not letting me have my own phone and phone number, or making me call when I got somewhere, or making me do chores - the really terrible things when you are young), I want to be just like her now.  And I want my children to turn out just as well.  Seriously, my bothers and I are amazing people.  Humble too.  The point is, now that I'm a mom, I have total respect for my mom and all of the things she did for us as kids.  I see now how much of the person I am today is from how much of an amazing mom I had...and have.  Getting to spend the day with her was wonderful.

Too bad I didn't get a picture of it...


Anonymous said...

Kim you said it so right do have a wonderful mom and she did bring up 3 wonderful kids. Love the pics. Nana

Anonymous said...

I felt so blessed having you and the twins with me this year. Anyone and I mean anyone in hearing distance knew you were coming and was here. It meant so much to have you and your twins with me this year. Thanks for the time I got with you all too. Gigi

Anonymous said...

I'm like you,Kim. I don't like Mother's Day as I feel every day is Mother's Day and I feel that love and connection so strongly every day. I'm so happy that I'm a Mom. Love the pictures! Grandma

Lauren and Jeff said...

So true about how you see have new respect for your Mom once you are a Mom yourself. I remember the first mother's day after Morgan was born (she was ~10 months old) and the intense feelings of gratitude I had for my own mother all of a sudden. I have always been grateful, but there is a new level of understanding that deepens your gratitude when you realize just what you mean to your mother.