Today, we officially made it to 32 weeks! I cannot tell you how exciting it is. Although physically I have to remain subdued (since the obvious goal is to keep them in longer), in my head I'm jumping up and down, dancing, and maybe doing a cartwheel or two (all of it obviously looks much better in my imagination than it would if I were actually doing it...so it's probably good that it is all in my head).
5 weeks ago when we first went into the hospital, when we first heard the odds and complications that our babies faced if they were born within 48 hours, when we first were hit with the reality that they were probably coming sooner than we expected this day seemed like an impossibility. I remember the doctor telling me that 32 weeks was the goal and thinking, "Are you kidding me? You aren't even sure I can keep them in 48 hours!" It felt mean that they would even suggest 32 weeks as a goal. I remember crying in the bathroom because 33 days didn't sound like a lot, but I couldn't imagine possibly reaching that 33rd day. So many concepts of time completely changed for me. For the first time in a while I didn't want to slow down and enjoy each day, I deserately wanted the days to gallop by hardly noticeable, to make me feel better. And for the first time since I was a little kid, the days seemed to stretch out so long before me.
And then we started to get so close! 1 week left to go, less than a week left to go. And suddenly we were back, once again hearing the NICU doctors giving us the "if your babies are born in the next 48 hours" speech (MUCH more positive this time!), and reliving the feeling of 32 weeks being VERY far away. Had we really come all this way only to miss our goal by a matter of days?! NO! Somehow we made it!
We have several pieces to our celebration today. First, I am going to church! Sort of. Lucas worked with someone at the church to use their laptop to hook up the webcam...so I'll get to see the service (and hear Lucas preach!) thanks to our webcam and skype! Then we are going to have Papa John's Pizza (a common celebratory treat for us). Finally, we are going to watch the Oscars! Since I kept track of my countdown by following the Oscar buzz, it will feel so good to watch them, and know that it isn't over (for me...it wil feel VERY over for them...especially the losers).
And now the next goal is 34 weeks. Starting out with only 2 weeks to go, rather than 5, feels much more manageable. And, starting out with the odds so much in our favor helps as well! They can come at any point now!!!
Thank you for joining us in our last 5 weeks! We'll keep you updated on the next 1, 2, or 4 more!