At the Lake House: Exploring

I couldn't figure out how to record our time at the lake house for Lucas' annual work-cation. I didn't want gigantic, rambling, cluttered posts. So I decided to divide it up into our favorite activities, and maybe throw a story or two in there.

First story: It was a somewhat disastrous get-away. Within minutes of getting to the lake house, Ryan fell down the stairs (only the last few - his little hand slipped out of daddy's), and ended with Ryan and I making a trip to the doctor. In between Ryan got his fingers shut in the door (if I had known where the nearest emergency room was, we would have been there before I realized it actually wasn't that bad), Allie fell and cut her head, and Allie slipped & fell on a stick (which, if it had not been for her double stuffed cloth diaper, would have been disastrous). We got covered in black fly bites, and there were innumerable other bumps, scrapes, & bruises. At one point I actually prayer that we would all just survive the trip! But, somehow, as I look back through the pictures and our memories, these events pale in comparison to the fun and relaxation we had at the lake house.

One of our favorite activities: exploring. The twins loved looking for exciting things and collecting pine cones. We loved watching them discover.

"Look! Bugs!"

"Isa pike cone!"

"Buddy, you forgot yours!"

"No, I didn't. I found another!"

"Anything inside?"

"Nope"

"Let's check out the field!"

"Oopsies! I can't see!"

Time to head back

Coming Back

We've been away for Lucas' annual work-cation (more on that later). An entire week with no Internet. It was a little wonderful, but now I have hundreds of pictures and many stories waiting to be recorded...but we have to start with the day before we left because it was a big one.

It started with the church picnic...and a bouncy house! They were in love.

"Hi, everybody!"

We were originally supposed to leave right after the picnic, but we found out our dear friends were going to be in the area and postponed to sneak in a (way to short) visit with them!

All four kids snacking together.

While the littlest of the bunch took a nap, we took the older 3 to the park. The merry-go-round was an instant hit...with more than the kids!

Swings were next. I love this father-daughter moment :)

Next they built sandcastles and threw rocks in the lake.

And one final ride on the merry-go-round. Not sure who is enjoying it more - the dads or the kids!

The visit was (as they all are) way too short, but we were happy to sneak it in. After they left we began (yes...BEGAN) packing for our big trip!

Awwwwwwww

We finally were able to work it out to go down and meet Baby Hugsy (or Baby Hans as Allie seems to have renamed him...)!! It was sort of last minute, but we realized that we either had to go down this week or it probably wouldn't happen until September! Not acceptable.

And my apologies for the terrible quality of the pictures. I still haven't quite gotten the knack of taking pictures in low-light settings without using the flash...

The twins spent a lot of time caring for the baby pig. This was my favorite. They put him in the swing with all of the things he needs (which is apparently 2 sippy cups and 3 remotes!)

Allie meeting Hugsy for the first time.

Napping with Uncle Lucas

"I'm not too big!"

Proud Auntie & Uncle (at least, I was trying to look proud...the look came out more dazed than anything...)

Some highlights of the trip (besides seeing the baby, which is a given):

Being able to help Lala while Uncle G was out of town for a night. She's much more brave than I to even consider doing a night entirely alone!

Chick-Fil-A! Where Ryan got to the top of the climbing structure and wouldn't come down. Lucas had to coerce some of the other kids into forcing him down the slide!

Taking the night shift with Hugsy. I discovered that the night shift with a newborn is a LOT more enjoyable when you know you will get sleep the next night. And it is even more enjoyable and easy to offer when you know that you will never have another night shift with a newborn (unless, as in this situation, I choose to)! I actually enjoyed the middle of the night feedings where it was just me & Hugsy.

The twins LOVE Indy, and really enjoyed playing with her (not sure if Indy enjoyed it though...).

Helping feed Hugsy

Hi, Hugsy!

For Ry-guy, the trip was more about seeing Lala than anything else. The whole morning at church (before we left), he was saying "Go see Lala!" The second the service ended, Ryan started walking out of the sanctuary yelling, "BYE, church! I go see Lala!" And when we were at their house, any time Lala was out of the room he would start saying, "Where's Lala? Wanna see Lala!" He adores his Lala.

Sorry about all of the leg in this picture. I tried to crop it, but it made it surprisingly more prominent! But I love this picture because the twins are singing to Baby Hugsy.

Chillin' together.

It was hard to leave. 3.5 hours doesn't sound like much, but it is just far enough that it doesn't work well for a random day trip or something like that. I've become accustomed to living close enough to my nieces that we can get together whenever, and it made me sad to not know when we would see him (them) again. I think I'm going to have to demand that all future nieces and nephews live within a 2 hour radius :)

Praying. Waiting. Hoping.

While I technically share a LOT on this blog (does everyone really need to know all the details of a road trip?), I rarely share much that is truly personal. In December I wrote this post, sharing more of myself than usual. Sharing my heartbreak and hope. This is the rest of the story:

It starts roughly 4 years ago when we were first going through fertility treatments. I remember praying (often), "God, just give me one baby. Just let me experience being pregnant once. Just let me know what that feels like. And I promise I will adopt all the orphans you want." God gave me 2 beautiful children and I thought, "That was generous. I promise to be generous in return." But we had those 3 remaining embryos, and when the time came for us to try I found myself going back on my promise. "God, I lied. Please, just give me one more. I love these 2 that you gave me so much. I loved being pregnant so much. Just let 1 of these embryos work and I promise that I will adopt all of the orphans you want." You know how that went. It just wasn't part of God's plan.

And I was sad. But I knew what I had promised, and I knew that I needed to pray more about adoption. I was very open. I would love another baby. But did I NEED another? I have 2 amazing children with whom I am very happy. The IVF was so hard. Could I really go through more emotional and financial stress? Lucas had recommended the most recent copy of Christianity Today. "It's all about adoption," he told me. And so I picked it up, and read this article. My heart broke. There are children out there who are so lacking of loving touch that they no longer cry? I am a mother who LOVES being a mother. I am a mother who knows that I had so much love to offer. I am a mother who cherishes the moments I can respond to my children's cries with love and reassurance. There are children out there who need this love, and I am a mother who loves to give it. How could I not respond? That was a life-changing moment.

Lucas and I committed to 6 months of praying...and saving (because adoption is expensive! Holy cow!)...to test, and see, and make sure before we jumped into something so huge. In this 6 months we went from $0 and no idea where any money would come from to opening a special savings account (with almost the exact amount I had in my head that would be "ideal" to have in this time); from having no idea what agency or from where to not only finding an agency we really like, but that has a program with the country that was truly on our heart - Uganda. At the beginning of 6 months, I had no clue what the end would look like, or even if we would decide to keep going. But at the end we have specific direction, a solid beginning, and confidence in our calling.

And so now we continue to pray. And wait. And SAVE. The expense of adoption is quite large, and while we have a good start, we have a long way to go (we are about 1/4 of the way to the FULL cost). One of the things we are doing to bring in a little money to put toward our adoption is a yard sale. And this is where my story becomes a bit of a plug. A dear friend recently dropped off some items her mom donated to our cause. Things she didn't want, but didn't want to go through the hassle to sell. And we thought, "Hey, maybe there are more of our family and friends who have similar items." We don't want people to go out of their way to scavenge for things, or feel obligated to part with something they actually sort of want to keep just because they feel like they should help. But if you have some items around your house that you no longer want, but haven't gotten around to throwing them out (or don't quite have enough to do a yard sale yourself), we are asking that you consider donating them to our sale. If you have ANYTHING that you would be willing to donate, please, call or e-mail, or facebook, or leave a comment and we can work out pickup, etc. There is no item too small. And. Thank you.

I was trying to create a "logo" (for lack of a better word). A visual that would sort of express our feelings and purpose and tie together the random, mundane ideas I have to glean money for the adoption (like a yard sale) and easily communicate their purpose. I came across the poem below (the inspiration for the words you see in the completed "logo" above), and it seemed to express what I've been feeling lately. This waiting is a new type of waiting. With the twins, the moment I knew about them, they were a part of me. They have always been WITH me. Now I'm very aware that somewhere out there, there might already be a baby that is mine. And I'm just here, so far away, doing whatever I can to get there and finally hold them for real.

KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullaby)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.

You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long.

But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...

Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.

I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.

But tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.

And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--Pamela Durkota, written for Josh

A Memorial Week to Remember: Part 3

The final installment of our week. Many apologies for the terrible pictures. I just realized now that I had my camera on the wrong setting the entire time they were playing in the backyard...

Papa & Gigi brought the twins some new swimsuits, and they were dying to try them out! Memorial Day was actually too hot to go to the lake, so we pulled out our handy wading pool!

They were having so much fun (even though the water was COLD!) that the rest of us decided to join!

All this fun is hard work!

He was trying to figure out how to relax like sis. Oops!

Success! Perhaps it helped that Sis decided the grass would be a better place to lay down?

On Tuesday we took a trip to the lake to play with E. We finally got to see how good this floaty swimsuits really are (they have their flaws, but with diligent - or obsessive...like me - parents they will be fine). It also gave me a chance to see what a trip like them is really like so I could know if I could take them by myself (answer: I probably won't for a while...more on that later...)

They had a blast playing with E in the sand (they all love to throw handfuls...or shovel-fulls of sand in the water), playing on the playground, wading, etc.

Papa joined in the fun and helped them build sandcastles.

Showed them how to skip stones.

Taught them how to splash their feet while sitting on the dock.

There were 2 small mishaps. One was when Allie got a little deeper than normal (waist deep) and then tripped. Her swimsuit kept her from getting her feet back under her, and kept her on her stomach. She did great, moved her arms and legs just like she was swimming, worked to keep her head above water. While it seemed like forever as I rushed to get her, it was maybe 3 seconds, and she did the absolute best possible during that time. She was back in the water - a little more cautious than before - in no time. A little later the kids were jumping to me off the dock. We taught them to walk really slowly (like a turtle) so they wouldn't slip, but Ry-guy happened to be watching Papa & Allie splash and walked off the side. I saw it coming and was already on my way to catch him. Had I not been waist deep in water, I would have made it. As it was, he didn't even have a chance to react after hitting the water before I was scooping him up. However, he jumped right back on the dock, walked to the end, and jumped into my arms (3 more times!).

While I think those 2 events (and the heart attacks that came with them) will keep me from taking them on my own any time soon, I was incredibly proud of the way they both faced their fears and overcame what had to have been some of the scariest moments in their short lives! I also think that I am going to have Lucas come with me sometime to work on stomach floating with them. With these swimsuits, that looks like it could be a common occurrence, and if I can help them feel confident enough to fight the panic when the situation arises, I would feel much better in general!

A Memorial Week to Remember: Part 2

I almost squeezed everything into one last post...but there were like 2 too many pictures to do so...

On Memorial Day we decided to take the kids to their first Memorial Day parade! We met up with the triplets, and searched for a place to watch the parade with our crew. We were lucky to find a nice shady spot!

Chillin' before the parade (note: Allie was having a morning and so I let her pick out her entire outfit - out of a few pre-approved choices - including her floppy hat & pink "Bono" sunglasses!)
Fire trucks! The one thing we were hoping to see.

The parade ended up being...short. Like 10 minutes. The guys decided to give the kids a little more of a thrill and took a walk along the square. Essentially joining the parade. Apparently, getting more attention and response then most of the actual parade!

After the parade we went back to our house to play on the new swingset!

And eat some yummy hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, fruit, and pasta salad. Quintessential Memorial Day food!

Fun with out friends was only part of our fun weekend though! More (and many more pictures...) to come!